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FIRST ENCOUNTERS WITH “YOU-KNOW-WHAT”


The first time I saw my period blood, I didn’t understand what it was. It looked like a dried brown muddy stain on my white bloomer. I had my sports day practice going on. I thought, probably it was stained by the wet mud from the ground. I knew periods was something that I should be expecting, since most of my friends had got theirs’ by then. But, I didn’t really care to know what to expect of it. I never had a discussion with my Mother about it. I just happened to see a pack of Whispers in her closet once and wondered what she would use it for. I knew from the advertisements that it was used for soaking some blue liquid. It didn’t look something of an interest to me. So I left it, believing that probably she also wanted to try and see what it’s used for, but poor Mom got fooled because we didn’t need it. We don’t use Neel.

The day I got my periods, my mom gave me one of those liquid soaking pads. That’s when I understood what it was used for. While trying to figure out how to use it, I kept abusing in my head over those advertisements, why the hell did they have to use that blue liquid? Why create unnecessary confusion for girls hitting puberty. After a long 15 minutes, I somehow managed to fit it, loosely stuck to my crotch area.

I have big thighs. Which means, anything that goes in between them is bound to get squashed. Then how can I expect a small piece of cotton to stay put. By the time my first day on periods ended, the pad had squeezed itself to a small corner of my panty and my period blood had yet again stained my panty. “OMG! Not again. I can’t keep washing you every day, stupid panty.” This was my story for the first 5 days of every month. Did I not tell you? For a woman, her month starts with the beginning of her period. So if we get our periods after 40 days, Hell yeah! We consider the month to be of 40 days. Deal with it.

I pretty much had no option of choosing what brand of pads to use. I would use whatever my mom would use. As per the education given to me by my mom, I should not shout out the name of the brand to the Chemist. I should write it on a piece of paper and show it to him. He would then, wrap it in a piece of newspaper and give it to me in a black plastic bag which no one would ask about, because everyone knows what is inside. When everyone knows what’s inside, then why do I have to hide it. But you are not supposed to question certain norms and traditions.

This continued for a while, till I got my own scooter. The day I got my scooter, in my head I became independent. And I revolted. I told my mom that from now on, I will choose what brand of sanitary napkins I would use. I didn’t want to use her cheap Nokia 768. I wanted my brand new iPhone 7 with the updated software. I went to the store to buy my first carefully selected napkin that suits my needs.  You heard me right. I went to a general store and not some chemist who was always talking to some shady guy, standing in the corner. And the shady guy would always want to know what I came to buy. Because he will be staring at me till I left the shop, sat inside the car and the car took the turn and was not visible. But, I didn’t know that he was there to buy condoms and was waiting for me to leave so that he can make his selection without getting embarrassed.

Anyways, I went to the general store and carefully studied every brand and what they had to offer. There were pad with wings, extra-long ones, ultra-thin ones and so on and so forth. I got the one that had all of these, in short the most expensive one. The next day, I was ready for the battle with my weapons. I had a new Valerian steel sword instead of the old rusty spear. I waited for the onset of monsoons. I had my dam read to hold the flow. I gave frequent visits to the restroom to check if the enemy arrived. I waited, and then I felt the first drop of rain. I went to see if the dam was fine, and there it was, the very first blood drop, right in the middle. Pride took over my intelligence. And as they say, pride goes before a fall, that’s exactly what happened to me. My pride went away, when some of those drops made their way outside the surface of the pad staining my panty yet again.


The next morning, my mom had an expression of victory on her face when she saw my freshly washed panty drying outside under the sun. 

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